Husbands are the head of the family, the leader and the provider:
Let’s read what the bible says about the role of the husband: Eph 5:25 Husbands love your wives, just as Christ Loved the Church, and gave himself up for her. V31. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother to be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
1. Husbands, love your wife.
If you love your wife, you wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings. Women are emotional. Most of the time their reaction is based on feelings. When they are hurt, it would take long to heal or she would need more love and attentions from you in order for her to forgive you. So be careful about what you say and do.
If you have done really sometime wrong. Only saying sorry and not doing anything to show your regrets is nothing. Your wife would realize how much repentant you are if you do the extra mile, like for example, go home early more frequently, buy her some flowers, cook for her, be more thoughtful and caring, etc. At least do some actions not in words only.
2. Husbands with working wife.
Be thankful that your wife is helping you out bring home the bacon. My advice would be to help your wife do household chores. Wives do get tired like you do. So when there is no helper at home, when the wife is cooking husband should clean the house or when the wife is washing the clothes husband should iron them. Get what I mean.
Never look at your wife as your mother. Your mother may have pampered you so much by giving you everything you ask, handed everything you need to get like a glass of water, bath towel, your shoes etc. Please respect your wife, she’s not a sevant.
3. Husband with a wife of a servant attitude
There are wives who really like to serve their husbands like kings. If your wife is one with a servant attitude, please don’t abuse her by treating her like one.
Do not abuse your wife by asking her for a glass of water, when you yourself can do it. When your wife sees that you don’t take advantage of her, she will serve you even more.
When you see that the house is so clean, as a gesture of your love for your wife, please don’t mess-up your house. Try your best to maintain the cleanliness.
When you see your house so clean and everything in order, give your wife a pat on the shoulder by hug and kisses and encouraging words. Tell your children to help out in keeping the house clean, so that mommy would not be so tired cleaning the house all over again. The wife would feel so blessed when you do this. At least, if you are not the type who likes cleaning the house, at least help maintain its cleanliness.
When you don’t have a helper, avoid changing clothes as frequent as possible. You may use a Tshirt/shorts twice in going to the supermarket. Or you use the bath towel for a week, just hang them in an open space every after use. Stuff like that to make life easier for your wife.
4. Husband with a non-working wife.
Husbands, please realize that most of the time, a wife who is not working sometimes feels low about themselves. Please don’t make actions/comments that would aggravate the wives belief about themselves.
Be home immediately after work, your wife must be longing for your presence. Realize that she maybe bored to death at home after a days work. She needs somebody who’s sensible enough to talk to. She knows that you are also tired from work but make an effort to have a good conversation with your wife after you have eaten and relaxed. Don’t watch the TV all night long and then sleep.
Ask your wife what she’s doing the whole day, about the children etc. Give accounts of what happened in your office. Share to your wife all the good things that transpired in the office to brighten up her day.
5. SHARING OF PROBLEMS
Sharing low moments between the husband and wife is healthy, but I suggest you do it in the privacy of your bedroom. I would suggest to both the husband and wife to limit the sharing of problems to the most important topics only. Problems that really need attention like for example , husband is worried that the company will be closing down. Wife is concern about the health of a son.
Avoid sharing the small little things like, ” officemate is taking me for granted or spreading rumors, or the secretary doesn’t like to talk to me etc etc”. While the wife should refrain from sharing like ” the whole day, i feel like i am a servant, am doing this and that, so tired etc etc”.
If everyday, you will be sharing all the complaints in the world, what will happen with your bonding moments. CONCERNS AND COMPLAINTS ARE DIFFERENT. Remember that.
If we love our spouse, we should try our best to limit their problems. We shouldn’t overburden them. If we truly care for them, we want them to be happy and worry free. There are problems that we can’t do nothing about, it’s not within our area of responsibilities, so why bother talking about them. There’s nothing your wife can do if your officemates have bad manners. Telling this everyday to your wife will only burden her. Same with the wife. Try to limit your conversations to nice things that would uplift each others spirit as much as possible.
Perhaps there are problems that only needs some adjustments in our personality like, don’t be so sensitive with the negative behavious of others, that we should only learn to manipulate our feelings by being positive etc. As I’ve said in my other topic on “finding your partner for life” – that we should find a partner that is a positive and joyful person to avoid making your marriage life a depressing one.
Still we need to always be open to one another if problems seem to exit.
6. Huband’s night out.
We understand the husbands need for a boys’ night out. The couple should have discussed about this before the wedding. Whatever had been agreed upon before, there should not be any problem. I know of a married couple – they agreed that, every friday night the husband and the wife will have each own night out with their friends. Saturday night, it’s their time together to go out. Sunday after church is the family’s bonding time.
7. Budget
Help your wife stick to the budget. If before you are used to eating large portion of the main course, you must adjust. So that everyone in the family would have their portion and wife wouldn’t need to cook more. If before you’re fond of buying signature clothes, no more this time. Avoid eating out frequently.
8. If the budget would permit, take your wife to a nice place say once a week or month. You two need to take a break once in a while. You deserve it. Don’t be so stingy with one another.
9. Please don’t ever ever forget your wife’s birthday and your wedding anniversary. These dates are so important to a wife.
10. Make it a habit to consult your wife for major decisions. This will make her feel important. But the final decision is yours. If you have a Godly wife, she will understand it.
11. If the wife is not in the mood for sex, PLEASE DON’T INSIST. Woman are not machine that can be turn on/off anytime. They need to be caressed and set to the mood. I heard of a man in a talk show, he said that if he wants to have sex with his wife, as early as breakfast time he already sets the moods of his wife by giving her naughty smile, winking at her, making hand signs etc. to the delight of his wife. So when night time falls his wife is already in the mood.
12. LASTLY, DON’T FORGET TO BE A GENTLEMAN. WHAT A JOY FOR A WOMAN TO BE TREATED AS A LADY LIKE OPENING THE DOOR, PULLING A CHAIR, HELP CARRY A LOAD ETC., EVEN WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY MARRIED.
SHOW YOUR CHILDREN HOW YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE. THIS WOULD BE THE BEST LEGACY YOU WILL GIVE YOUR CHILDREN, THAT IS, LOVING THEIR MOTHER.
When your son gets married and does the same way to his wife. I tell you , your daughter in law and her parents will say to you ” how good a husband you must be because your son is such a good husband”! rather than telling your son ” maybe your father or parents did not teach you good manners”
By showing your kids a good example of a good husband, early on you are already teaching your son what he should do to be a good husband and how he should treat his future wife. While your daughters, by the example you make, will teach her what are the qualities of a good husband she should have or look for. By not saying a word just actions, children are taught on the knowledge of what is a good husband.
Again as what I’ve said for new wed couples : SAY SORRY IF IT’S YOUR FAULT AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU ‘RE RIGHT.
AT THE END OF YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU FACE YOUR CREATOR, GOD WILL ASK YOU ” WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR WIFE?”
As what have been told in the bible after Adam and Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit in Genesis 3: 9 ” But the Lord called to the man. ” Where are you?”. God questioned Adam not Eve. God put the man in charge of the family, he is accountable to God for his actions including that of his family members.
