As I have said, I did enjoy my college life. Even though I have not experienced it to the fullest I had no regrets or thoughts of missing out something in my life. So I thought, in my freshman and sophomore years.
I had a classmate then , lets call her Slyvia. She was a simple pretty lady. We lived in the same town. So we got home together. We commute everyday. Though our financial status in life was almost the same, her parents with the help of her older brothers and sisters could afford to give her a more comfortable life. She had nice dresses, shoes, bags etc etc.
Naturally, a lot of our classmates and those from other classes had a crush on her. Little by little I noticed I’ve been left out. It seems that no one was noticing me anymore. All attentions were being throwned her way. Slowly but surely, I was losing my self esteem. I couldn’t argue with her even in small issues. I couldn’t insist my rights, she would always says she was right. She had practically dominated me.
Maybe, because with the way she dressed up and the way she looks made me feel so inferior. I felt like I was an ugly duckling. I felt like she was my mother when I was just a small girl. Sometimes, she made me the laughing stock during get together chit chat with friends. Whenever she does that, I just remained quiet and thought that nothing unusual with her behaviour as my mother does that to me as well. I just shrugged it off.
But when I was alone I hated myself for letting her did that to me and not fighting for my dignity instead of remaining quiet. Was it because, my mother did not give me any self respect. Or my mother did not teach me to love myself. Or my mother did not tell me that ” don’t let people make you feel inferior”.
I felt I have no power to defend myself. As if my lips were sealed. Couldn’t open it. I felt so inferior and worthless as if I deserved everything they say and do to me. I didn’t know how to react.
It went on and on and on.. until our junior years, Sylvia and I got separted because we chose different majors. I finally found a new peace in life when I joined a new set of friends. My new set of friends and I more or less have the same vibes. No boyfriend all studies. Little by little, I regained that small self confidence that I still have in myself. I studied well until my graduation day.
Before our graduation month, Slyvia and I met again unexpectedy and as long time friends not seeing each other for quite a while, we updated each other. She showed me pictures of the graduation ball she attended just recently. Wow, what a beautiful party dress and very nice make up that complemented her beautiful face. And what a handsome /wealthy escort in black suit she had. They looked so happy and in loved.
